In which Ness and Lucas shenanigan on a bench
by Pork Beans Chan
Summary: Lucas wants to beat up Ness to prove that he isn't as blonde as he appears.
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a salami it was in the brawl universe and ness and lucas were sitting on a bench. They knew wat was about to hapen, but captain falcon did not. He walked by and ness went "PK FIRE" and captain falcon was sad and also on fire. Lucas giggled like a schoolgirl and said 'Hey Ness, Check this OUT!" and tried to do the same to sonic, but sonic was too fast and lucas was a failure. Ness laughed. LIke a man and an asian, in that order. "Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas." He said "you can never be as freat as me. I have ALL THE MUSCLES." and lucas knew it was true, because he was blonde AND a bitch. Mr. staturn thought he was a pussy too. Everyone did. But lucas had a thought that maybe if he could beat up ness, he would finally get the respoct he needed. "Ness I am going" he starrted "to bat you up" he grunted and picked up a rock and THREW IT AT NESS WHO CAUGHT IT AND ATE IT. Lucas winced as ness BIT THE ROCK IN HALF WITH HIS ASIAN JAWS. "I'm surperior to you, lucas" he said, completely unaware of the storm that he just unleashesd. Lucas had a secret attack called PK FUCK YOU and he used it and ness went dead. "No! Ness! what have I done? Why am I so blonde! agh!" he cried, his tearing off his shirt. Captain falcon approved. His tears brough nexs back to live and nest was like "thank you." and then they made out and it was hot. and captain falcon approved.


	2. Smashbros Fatality chapter2: World War Z

The darkness was lifted off of the smash bros universe, and Ness looked into the sky and he saw in the sky a reflection of himself but reflection was sad, and pointed to the boy sitting on his Mothers grave. It was captain falcon, and he was hurting. "Haha, you're gay," said nessflection. He dissipated.  
"I'm sorry, His opinions don't reflect my own, dude." He said to captain falco./ns sad little man face, "But the darkness is gone. I'm here. We're here, together."  
Captain falcon nodded... "Remember when you.. you kissed him, ness?" A single tire falls down captain falcons cheek.  
Ness touches his soft, soft, soft lips. "yes." he whispered.  
"don't cry for me," lucas howls from the garbage, "I m "

Parch..came in with her turnipIT WAS ROSALINA ALL ALONG She came into the valley where captain falcon and ness were mourning their Mother and savior and "boyfriend" lucas. She held out a manicurt hand and said, "atake my hand my boys. We have a NEW world to being together."  
The Boys were back in town, but they dideny know this strang woman. "I'm frrom the nw world, and this is me embarassador, Claus from the MOther series."

They went along with Rosaline. The journey was long, ness was so very thirsy, He nissed lucas, and he missed his Mother3. The bombs started bropping along them and they had to hurry up. Ganondorf was NOT behind it. "Ness, get in my helmet, I'll drie us to safety." He offered the sae help to the bae, rosalien, but she refused. She drowned in bombs. She drowned in all these fucking bombs. Then the bomb


	3. Ness frees him

Longest chapter yet. the sun was high in the sky.

"How the F*CK," Claus gasped and shouted at Cpt. Falcon, "Could you let my adoptive mother drown in these wearheads you b*stard?" The tension was cuttable, and Ness' anxiety levels were reaching critical mass. They'd been afloat in the ocean for too long, they were running out of batteries, out of hope, out of time...

"I didney know she was your mather, Clouds." Cpt. Falcon responded after a long night in the ocean."It's clous, you f*ck. I'm the son of Hinawa, adopted son of Dragon and Porky Beans. And then I was son of the princess of the stars and YOU let her DIE you F*CK"  
It'd been 500 years since the end of Mother3, but the ending still stung in the hearts of the brothers lucas, deceased or not.  
"I miss my moms and my brother.. You treat mee like this, you, who has his WHOLE family." Claus was unstable.  
Captain falcon gave him a sympathetic look. He had no idea what the young whipper snapping youth with the orange hair said, because he still had water in his ears from his night in the nuclear ocean.

The next day the sun only beat down hotter on their heads and their hearts. Ness needed out. The PK boy couldn't stand living in the same boat as these boys and their constant questioning of his power. He was spowerful, and he'd fucking show them... if he had the motivation. He looked out over the ocean of sorrow and wondered what lucas was thinking, right there.  
"I'm thinking.. about you, nest." Lucas's voice whispered down from the aether. It was just as sweet, no, _**gayer**_, than Ness could remember. His boy was back.. At the end of mother 2, Ness made a pact with Giygas to defeat him. Giygas' life for a place in ness' heart. A monster was growing there. "Holdy my hand, Ness." his face was red with blush.  
"HOw are you...?"  
"Shh.."  
The lucas dissipated back into the essence of thr world.  
Ness lifted up his gun, and put it down. He couldn't. this dragon needed ot keep living on, for Lusac. "I'm out here.. sucking dick. When all I really need is my fathers love."


End file.
